In January, I saw a HuffPost article shared on my Facebook Newsfeed entitled: “If I Can’t Accept You at Your Worst, Then Maybe You Should Stop Being So Horrible,” written by Matt Walsh. I clicked on it, and it quickly became one of my bookmarked articles. Walsh starts with discussing the “every kid gets a trophy” complex that has “ruined” so many millenials.
“See, I think all of this nonsense — this “everybody is special, everybody gets to have a trophy, everybody gets a card, everybody gets recognition” idiocy — can produce only two possible results, neither desirable. One, it can make perceptive, self-aware children even more embarrassed and insecure. They know that they are undeserving of these accolades, and they’d rather not be patronized.”
He then goes on to say that it also creates kids who are egocentric and believe their s*** don’t stank, if you will. That attitude has infiltrated peoples’ attitudes toward relationships–people feel that they’ll always be accepted, even if they act terribly. The whole: “Accept me for what I am” bit that seems to be all over social media.
“Newsflash: It’s not OK to be selfish, impatient, and out of control. These traits, while common, are UNacceptable. They should not be accepted, least of all by the people you claim to love. The onus is on YOU to change your behavior and your attitude, not on them to “handle it.” Are you such a gem that they should thank God for the opportunity to be emotionally abused by you, if only it earns them a chance to bask in the glow of your superiority?”
I love his article because it opened my eyes, I didn’t win trophies for everything I did as a kid, but I still feel like I’ve caught myself excusing my actions because my better self makes up for it, which isn’t okay. No one should strive for simple acceptance–unless it’s into a school.
What kind of a pathetic and dreary goal is that, anyway — just wanting to be “accepted,” tolerated, put up with? That’s not why we’re put on this planet. Life is not about gaining “acceptance.” Life is change. It is not static and stagnant, do you really want your relationships to be?